Sometimes, I wish life had a reset button.  A magical little button that swiped your plate clean, leaving only the knowledge and lessons learned behind.  There are so many things that I wish didn’t define me, and so many people I hurt that I wish I could take back any pain I caused.  Under certain circumstances, you develop defenses, guards that are so rooted within your brain, that even when you want to drop them, want to banish them from your mind and never remember why there were there in the first place, they have become your only comfort. It’s funny, you see a girl who seems so well adjusted, smart, friendly, vivacious, and if you strip away the mask, the attitude, and the act, she is still as scared and alone as she was so long ago. She’s become the essence of what she thought was normal, what everyone wanted, expected to see. She’s kept everything to herself for so long, she doesn’t know how to communicate. She lived in her own world, dealing with life in her own way, that when someone came along that only wanted to be with her, she never knew how to accept that. You can stare in the mirror all you want and repeat to yourself that you are worth it, but how many times do you have to say it before you believe it? How many times do you have fuck yourself and others over before you understand that they aren’t the monster? They don’t want to hurt you? They aren’t going to leave you.  “Hurt them before they hurt you,” seemed smart enough at the time, but in retrospect you only hurt yourself. You only cause yourself to be more alone. What you really want in life, requires you to do the scariest thing in the world, let someone close, and right now you’re having a hard time trying to figure out how to do that. I wish I could take everything back, but I can’t, and I have no idea what to say.

The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
Hunter S. Thompson

Every breath, every moment, every thought, is a chance to change, retreat, evolve. Every time you feel inferior, experience fear, contemplate quitting is a chance for you to grow. Every tear, every heartbreak, every fall is a chance to stand back up and learn from your mistakes. When you tell yourself no, I can’t, or I’m not worth it, you are only cutting yourself short. You are making it easier for others to consider themselves superior above you and to keep you down. It is your responsibility to grow, to commit, to become the person that you wish to be. Excuses are for the weak. Own your humanity. Own your past mistakes. Realize that you give people power when you let them make you feel weak. When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it. People respect those who own their mistakes more than those who continue to make excuses for why they made mistakes. Project the person you want to become. Smile when you don’t want to. The rest will follow. Realize that it takes hard work and perseverance to get far in life, and if your success is handed to you, you are likely to falter. Respect is more important than popularity. Drama is never appreciated. Act like an adult and be treated as an adult. Tomorrow is another day, another chance, another attempt. Don’t let your future slip through your fingers. Ask somebody else about their day. Ask somebody else how they feel. Try to avoid starting every sentence with “I”. Listen for once. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Sometimes you can make someone’s day by just lending an ear. Don’t project your opinion or morals on other people. These are things that have worked for me here recently. These are lessons that have not only been taught, but experienced, and I’ve learned to be true.  Maybe they can help someone else out as well.